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The 6 stages of becoming a house plant parent

Are you the type that sings to your house plant and gives it a name? Or are you the type that you couldn’t even trust with a cactus? Read on for the six stages and attributes of what makes a good house plant parent.

However, all plant lovers have got to start somewhere. First you buy a plant, then you find yourself talking to it, and before you know it you’re giving it a name and watching watering tutorials online.

So, where are you on the scale?

Image Credit: Angele Kamp/Unsplash

The 6 stages of being a good house plant parent

Level 1: You buy some plants

… but they die within a week. As far as plants go, you’re at the same level as with the goldfish you won at the fair in fifth grade — you know, the one who went to swim in the big old fish tank in the sky (via your toilet bowl). Yet, you still believe. When you go to IKEA, you can’t help but fall for a cactus or a yucca.

But inevitably, one ends up drowned by overwatering, while the other dries out in front of the window and standing in a draft. Perhaps it’s time to move to level 2.

Level 2: You try a terrarium

Tired of plant cruelty, you turn your efforts and affection to a terrarium. This time, it can’t fail, as this small world in a bottle only needs a few drops of water. You regain confidence.

Level 3: You start repotting

Your yucca and your succulents (you have to start easy) are all doing well. You go easy with the watering can, and you place them exactly where they need to be to thrive — and it works! Your plants are happy, healthy… and are now outgrowing their pots. You watch your first YouTube tutorials on repotting your treasures. You might even give your green-thumbed grandma a call.

Level 4: You start following “plantstagrammers”

Suddenly, your Instagram feed is full of photos of your home looking halfway between a jungle and a winter garden. You love care and maintenance tips as much as decorating ideas. In fact, your plants are starting to invade your bookshelves. Soon, there’ll be no room left for books.

Level 5: You start giving them names

Frank the Yucca and Anna the Monstera are doing well. Since lockdown, you’ve been talking to your plants every day, so much so that you’ve given them little names. The more creative among you might even have crafted a custom name sticker and decorated their pots. Lockdown sure was long…

Image Credit: Annie Spratt/Unsplash

Level 6: Now you’re the plantstagrammer

Suddenly, it’s all about #Monsteramonday and #Philodendronfriday, it’s your grandmother calling you for tips, and you’re one step away from the cover of a gardening magazine. Congratulations on your success.

This article is published via AFP Relaxnews.

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