It’s a jungle out there in the corporate world. Competition is fierce, and everyone has to hustle their way through it in order to survive – they’d be lucky if they could thrive. However, knowledge is power, and at the end of the day, The Heavens above are a reflection of the Earth itself – just as the Earth below is a reflection of The Heavens. Thus, the corporate jungle is merely a reflection of the astrological jungle – and vice-versa!
Here’s an astrological guide that’ll give you a keen insight into the inner lives of your colleagues, superiors, and subordinates. Knowing these facts about them will not only give you an incredible advantage – especially in team building, but also in how to create a powerful and harmonious work environment. With each sign, we have attached a character from the popular workplace sitcom, The Office, so that you’ll be able to get a more clearer understanding of your colleagues born under their signs. If you’ve seen The Office, you’ll easily be able to relate the descriptions given below with your colleagues. If you haven’t seen it, well, it’s about time you did!
Your employee personality and its The Office counterpart, as per your zodiac sign
All Aries have a special spark about them that adds that extra dash of energy wherever they go – especially at the office. This spark is probably what got them hired in the first place, because they wowed the interviewer not only with their fiery charisma, but also their quick answers that were laced with their unironic pure earnestness to do a good job! However, an Aries needs to be challenged! They’re warrior spirits, and thus love to be in the centre of all the action. This is why many often choose careers where risks are high enough to keep their adrenalin pumping. Stuff them in a cubicle with repetitive mundane tasks, and they’ll resign faster than you can say, “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”. Aries works best when they have freedom to make decisions, and have to be answerable directly to ‘the big boss’. They hate red tape, and abhor having to stick to ‘chains of command’.
When an Aries is in a job they love, they won’t mind burning the midnight oil. In fact, they’d probably ask to do so multiple times, because they love the thrill of ‘making it to the finish line’. Aries’ natural competitive spirit will constantly motivate them to outshine all their colleagues, and many a times, they’ll even try to one-up themselves. However, don’t be surprised if they replace their superiors one day by proving that they can do their jobs faster and better. When they do become ‘the boss’, Aries expects the same kind of enthusiastic dedication from their team – and will not hesitate reprimanding ‘slackers’ in a typical Aries fashion with their skin turning crimson. However, remember, Aries works hard because they party hard – and will always find ways to keep things ‘interesting’ at work.
The Office counterpart: Andy Bernard
Taurus charms everyone at work. It’s not like they’re making any special effort to do so, nor would they even bother – and yet, they end up charming us with their salt-of-the-earth ‘realness’ that’s oh so refreshing. This is what probably got them hired in the first place, not to mention the grounded and stable vibe that they give off – making anyone feel so safe and secure in their presence. Which is why, it comes as a such a surprise when they pull pranks on you. Yes, the dependable, practical, and routine-loving bull loves to have a good laugh, and as long as you take it in good spirits, you’ll laugh
along. However, sometimes they may get carried away. After all, there’s a reason why the word ‘bully’ contains the word – ‘bull’. However, unless they’re extremely afflicted by malefics – planetary or otherwise – if you explain to them how they’ve crossed a line – they will politely apologise and will be mindful off their actions.
Taurus loves money – and they don’t care to hide it. This is why they’re drawn to careers that not only pay well, but promise a steady flow of income that will increase with every year they loyally serve the company. However, remember, they’re more interested in building wealth and power, and love their freedom far too much to be subjected to shady corporate practices that don’t reward their hard work. This is a sign that can easily leave a nine-to-five secure job and turn their former hobby that later on became a ‘side hustle’ into a highly profitable career. When they do become ‘the boss’, you may enjoy their ‘chill attitude’ and calm demeanour. Be warned – they’re watching every move you make, and are making mental notes. You maybe safe today. Tomorrow – who knows?
The Office counterpart: Jim Halpert
Gemini talks, moves, and thinks fast. They wow you with their airy ‘street smarts’, and have a way of making contacts in incredibly high and low places. They flit around like butterflies gathering all the gossip – and will often lure you in to spill your juicy secrets in exchange for something they heard elsewhere. Information is currency for a Gemini, and they’re incredibly savvy with it. Yes, they love excitement and the thrill of chasing deadlines, but they don’t have the patience nor the passion of Aries to burn the midnight oil. They have a life (and tons of side hustles) outside the office, and will get incredibly irritable if their private time is being encroached upon. It’s also important to remember that Gemini loves drama, and if the work they do doesn’t satisfy their need for it – they will not hesitate creating some of their own. This is the sign that’ll not only light the match that will cause the explosion, but will gleefully watch it all go down while munching the popcorn.
Gemini is the archetypal hustler, the con artist, the bamboozler, and yes – the trickster. Even the most ambitious ones get bored of monotony, and have an almost perverse need to be entertained. They’re often far more talented than they let on – many may even surprise you with their dexterity, as well as, their ability to adapt to any situation with ease. However, they’re avid complainers, and can sometimes be like whiny children that are stuck in the backseat during long family road trips – repeatedly asking, “Are we there yet?” Though, if you remain detached, a ranting and venting Gemini is incredibly entertaining. Their glib charm definitely gets them out of trouble and helps them climb the corporate ladder. When they are ‘the boss’, they’ll not hesitate to delegate almost everything whilst enjoying an afternoon martini – justifying it as a business expense as they had to ‘woo clients’.
The Office counterpart: Kelly Kapoor
When a Cancerian works for you – they literally work for you. They’ll not only be incredibly loyal, but they will always champion you, and in many ways become indispensable. That is – if you’re able to reward them handsomely for their intense dedication – and not just monetarily. When a Cancerian feels secure about their work and the income they bring home regularly, they will be tenaciously dependable, but will also find ways to nurture you. However, when they feel betrayed – the claws
come out, and you may find yourself walking upon eggshells whilst dealing with them. Remember, as much as they make model employees, Cancerians were born to lead and take responsibility. Don’t be afraid of that borderline maternal vibe they give out – this mother won’t hesitate to give a good spanking to a misbehaving child. Of course, I’m using a metaphor here – they aren’t violent people (most of the time). However, their sharp tongue will surprise you with a cutting remark that will hit you out of the blue, leaving you bruised for a long time.
Remember, Cancer’s biggest needs are affection and security. They need constant reminders of how valuable they are, and how much their presence truly means to you. Yes, sometimes working with one is a kin to having a needy lover desperate for validation. When they receive the validation they need, they will loyally take a bullet for you. However, if you dare toy with their emotions, don’t be surprised if they either replace you, or leave to join the competition and take immense pleasure in taking you down. When they do become ‘the boss’, don’t be fooled by their laughter. More often than not, their laughter is their way of masking their disapproval of you. You’ve been forewarned!
The Office counterpart: Phyllis Lapin-Vance
Leo is always, ‘the boss’. Even if they’re working at an entry level position, or doing an unpaid internship – they won’t hesitate bossing everyone around them – including their superiors. Only they have the charisma and the chutzpah to pull it off so effortlessly. Many a times, a Leo will make their superiors at work feel that they should be grateful to have the zodiacal lion in their employ. After all, a Leo believes wholeheartedly that they are the company’s biggest asset – and more often than not – they have evidence to back those lofty claims up. Modesty is for losers, and Leo’s brags are anything but humble. After all, they’ve worked hard for it, and you better appreciate them for it, as they put on their crowns and sit upon their thrones! Speaking of thrones, Leos love titles, and the fancier their title is – the happier they are to work. Unlike Cancerians who need emotional validation – Leo’s just need the spotlight to shine on them in order to perform. If anyone can perform miracles – it’s a Leo.
Don’t let their dazzling flash fool you. Underneath all that bravado and cat-like chic and mystique that makes everyone fall prey, Leos have a deep sense of responsibility. They truly believe that what they do will make the world (or at least their version of it) a better place, and this is why, majority of them constantly need to prove their worth to the world in order to battle their biggest secret shame – imposter syndrome. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and that’s a burden Leo knows far too well. When they do become ‘the boss’ (which they almost always do), make sure you’re an excellent listener and can anticipate their needs before they can voice them. They’ll make you work hard – and their approval will oddly make you feel like you’ve accomplished something major in life.
The Office counterpart: Ryan Howard
Virgo is the sign of ‘service’ and they take great pride in ‘being of service’. Read that again before you judge your Virgoan colleague of ‘brown nosing’. Virgo lives to be useful, and more often than not, goes out of the way to take on numerous responsibilities that are not part of their job description. However, that’s what makes them indispensable. They smoothly and efficiently manage things so well that everything falls apart without them. Naturally humble, Virgo can happily be a team player. However, their staunch perfectionism and their critical nature can make them
unbearable in a group project. More often than not, they’ll just take over everything as they firmly believe, “if you wan’t something done right, you must do it your damn self!” Try not to be offended when a Virgo has no patience for your seeming incompetence. Whatever criticism they shoot at you, they are ten times worse to themselves. It’s that level of self-criticism that makes them more comfortable being the one who serves, rather than the one getting served.
With an incredible eye for detail, and a constant (almost obsessive) need to have everything done ‘perfectly’, Virgo has one of the strongest work ethics in the zodiac, and will not hesitate giving you a look of sheer disapproval if they catch you slacking off – even if you are the boss. Time is money to a Virgo, and they hate wasting a single second of it. Asking them for their honest opinion is a heroic task on it’s own because this is a sign that refuses to sugarcoat things. However, once you’re immune to the harsh criticism, you’ll realize they make actual valid points, and following them will ensure that you’re all the more successful. They aren’t desperate for credit nor applause, but a little acknowledgement goes an incredibly long way. Though they enjoy being the power behind the throne, when they do become ‘the boss’ they expect you to maintain the same high standards as they do – no exception!
The Office counterpart: Pam Beesley
Libra, like Taurus, charms the world wherever they go. However, unlike Taurus, Libra does make the effort and goes all the way in order for that charm. Only a truly afflicted Libra would show up to the Office whilst shabbily dressed. No matter what their level of employment or their take home salary may be – Libra puts in the work to dress well for the office, with carefully curated accessories and a perfume that’s harmonious and not over-powering. How they look is a reflection of not only the respect they have for themselves, but also for the work they do and their place of employment. However, even the butchest of them are sensitive to aesthetics, so much so, that they may get a headache if their surroundings are gaudy and/or tacky. However, don’t be fooled by their need of harmony – Libra isn’t afraid of a good fight, and won’t hesitate putting their foot down and standing up against their superiors. Debating is their biggest aphrodisiac.
Libra won’t hesitate to ‘cut a bitch’, and they’ll do it with incredible style and aplomb. As much as they love the ‘niceties’ and ‘pleasantries’ of life (good manners are virtues for them), they cannot tolerate unfair and unwarranted behaviour. Yes, they are natural diplomats, but it’s so hard for them to back off from ‘a good fight’. Contradictory you say? Well, ‘contradictory’ is Libra’s middle name. It’s what keeps both you and them on their toes. However, amuse yourself by watching a Libra fight both sides of an argument with equal vigour – it’s a fun thing to see how they can nimbly switch sides. However, they are delightfully social and are excellent at negotiating deals and wooing clients. When they do become ‘the boss’, make sure to stay on their good side by appealing to their inherent desire of fairness and harmony. You’ll be surprised how generous they can be in pushing your career forward.
The Office counterpart: Jan Levinson
Everyone’s always scared of Scorpio at the workplace. Even if they appear to be gentle, almost docile, there’s still a strange intensity in their aura that sends even the subtlest chill down your spine
whenever you interact with them. They’re incredibly self-contained individuals, and the intense steadiness of their eyes gives the impression of a strange kind of inner-confidence that’s almost enviable. Scorpios would rather die than give excuses, and has far too much pride to play ‘the blame game’. They truly believe that they’re masters of their own fate, and don’t really need your compliments to feel validated in anyway – they know their worth far too well. Intensely private about their personal lives, they will rarely air their dirty laundry for they do not wish to become the subject of office gossip. If they do confide in you – they must really trust you. Honour that trust!
Scorpio never does anything without a motive. It’s never just about the money – it’s power that they truly crave. Money is just a means to an end – power is what makes the world go round. Nihilistic to the core and forever suspicious of intentions, Scorpio isn’t under any illusions regarding ‘the goodness of others’. However, they won’t impulsively burn bridges, nor will they hesitate to submit before superiors when necessary. They’re incredibly patient, and they know that eventually, they will rise to the top, and won’t hesitate wielding the power that comes with authority. When they do become ‘the boss’, don’t be deceived by their soft-spoken manner. You’ll always be under eagle-eye scrutiny, and your loyalty will always be tested. There’s no rest for the wicked!
The Office counterpart: Dwight Schrute
Sagittarius is always a delight to have around the office with their natural positivity and overall enthusiastic joie de vivre. Fine, sometimes that can become irritating and border upon cringe – but more often than not – they will always find ways to shine a light on the dark corners of your soul in unexpected ways. They never half-ass things, and are honest to the core. Sometimes that honesty is a little too careless – sometimes causing them to suffer from ‘foot in mouth syndrome’. Though, many a times it’s more like ‘hoof in mouth syndrome’. However, always remember that they mean well, and always have the best intentions – unless of course they’re severely afflicted by malefics – planetary or otherwise. Hardly humble and rarely modest, Sagittarius are self-confident souls who are quite pleased with themselves. Don’t be fooled by their casual vibe – they may surprise you with shocking nuggets of deep philosophical wisdom that contain the answers to all of life’s problems. This is why they’re natural counsellors and make great mentors – at least they think so!
Sagittarius is happiest when they’re constantly learning. Their curiosity is what propels them to ask questions without hesitations. They often find teaching others is the best way to learn, and will forever be open to new ideas and innovations. Unlike Gemini who’s motivated by digging up dirt to use against you later, Sagittarius is genuinely eager to know things, and will often want to know the ‘why’ behind every instruction they’ve been given. More than anything, they love ‘business trips’, and will always be drawn to work where travel and socialising play an important factor. When they become ‘the boss’, expect them to surprise their employees with special gifts and bonuses, and even corporate retreats that include fun and games and workshops to get to know each other better and function well. Yes, they will be mandatory.
The Office counterpart: Michael Scott
Capricorn doesn’t suffer fools, and if the fool is someone they work for, they won’t hesitate letting them know. After all, Capricorn is ruled by Saturn – the karmic taskmaster of the astrological solar
system. Work is worship, and Capricorn is the high priest(ess) of that temple. However, remember, Capricorn has one of the wittiest and driest sense of humour in the zodiac. Their sharp and subtle quips are deliciously laced with sarcasm, and will catch you by surprise, causing you to try ever so hard to control yourself from bursting into laughter. Though, when it comes to work, Capricorn is all in with a laser focus on achieving their individual, as well as, corporate goals – sometimes the two merge seamlessly within their psyche. And when they have to report to the above mentioned ‘fools’, Capricorn will let them have it – and more often than not – the ‘fools’ will thank them for it. However, unless severely afflicted, Capricorn will always be courteous and respectful about it. If you find them rude – that’s only because you aren’t smart enough to get their humour.
Conscientious to a fault, Capricorn is miserable whenever they make mistakes or commit errors of judgment. Failure depresses them immensely, and once they recover from the shock of it, they will work extra hard in order to succeed. However, unlike most corporate raiders, titles rarely impress Capricorn. Many a times, those who are at high executive positions may feel the need to prove their worth to even an entry level Capricorn who not only has mastered the art of a ‘resting bitch face’, but already has plans to replace them or outrank them in the foreseeable future. When they do eventually become ‘the boss’, their day never ends, and they’ll work you to the bone. However, they’ll reward you for your dedication and will value your loyalty more than anyone else.
The Office counterpart: Angela Martin
Aquarius is effortlessly cool and surprisingly chill in the face of chaos. They’re surprisingly good at their jobs inspite of having a certain level of emotional detachment that allows them to remember that life isn’t all about pursuing a career. In fact, Aquarius has perhaps the strangest and quirkiest pursuits outside the office. Many of them would have offbeat and perhaps even radical beliefs that fit in well with their highly idealistic ethical code of conduct. It’s rare you’ll ever know about it – for inspite of being the one with the most ‘friends’ at work – Aquarius is shockingly private about certain things and can get incredibly riled up if their privacy is violated even at the slightest. Even if they work in the most conservative work places, Aquarius will always have a unique creative flair to their appearance. It’s part of their natural need to rebel against authority and conformity, and express their unique brand of individuality. More often than not, they’ll give off a glamorous vibe without even trying at all. And yet, even though they rise to the top, you can’t help but feel that something is ‘off’ about them. It’s right there in front of you, but you’ll never be able to put your finger on it.
Incredibly intelligent, Aquarius has an uncanny perceptive quality that makes them naturally attuned to situations. They soak up knowledge like sponges, and have strict codes which they abide by no matter what. They expect you to have faith in them and their unique ways of handling things. They’re aces at creative problem solving – as long as they aren’t based on emotional circumstances. Human emotions are an alien concept to Aquarius. They may either spend hours analysing them with a clinical kind of fascination, or they may ignore them completely as too many emotions give Aquarius an incredible migraine. When they become ‘the boss’, always expect the unexpected. You’ll be rewarded well if you’re able to keep up with them intellectually and can anticipate their thoughts and needs.
Unless they’re pursuing the career of their dreams, no Pisces is ever happy just doing a job. They’ll always feel like misfits if they’re in a job that just pays the bills. Sure, they may be the office sweethearts who brighten everyone’s day with their dreamy vibe – however, look carefully, and you’ll discover a tortured soul that’s living in misery within every soul-sucking corporate moment. In such scenarios, they won’t hesitate letting their displeasure be known with laziness and a disheartened and disinterested vibe. However, put them on the path of pursuing the career of their dreams – and you’ll see them sparkle brighter than a Leo, work harder than an Aries, Taurus, or even a Capricorn, while paying so much attention to detail that a Virgo would feel self-conscious. Work will no longer become ‘work’ or ‘a job’ for them – it’ll become their life’s calling that’s in alignment with their soul’s greatest mission. It’s thinking like this that makes many Pisces’ individuals ever so susceptible to join rather shady cults. But that’s a subject for another time.
Sometimes lost within daydreams, while at other times working with a solid sense of duty, Pisces truly believes that everything we do – especially professionally, must have a positive impact on ‘The World’. This is why many of them are drawn towards careers within the creative arts. Such professions help them transmute the oceanic levels of pain and trauma that they carry within them upon their backs and embedded within their heart-chakras, and create something beautiful that will be a thing of joy for everyone till time immemorial. When they do become ‘the boss’, they surprise themselves with their controlling nature that emerges, giving them the power to get others to respect their authority. However, Pisces is happiest when they have a full creative pursuit outside the office. Not necessarily as a side hustle – even as a means to relieve stress and pump them up with ‘happy hormones’.
The Office counterpart: Erin Hannon